Lets get REALLY honest here…shall we? Each and every one of us has one or more things we do not like about our current relationship! Maybe we aren’t in a relationship because this has been the case in the past.
I believe ALL men want three things, to be appreciated, respected and to be given LOADS of love in more than one way! I also believe that women desire three things in a relationship. They want to be honored, cherished and also receive love in SEVERAL different ways! That being said, if we aren’t careful, our relationships are often taken for granted.
So why do so many relationships fail? Why is the divorce rate at the highest its ever been? Because many of us become complacent and lazy in our intimate relationships with our partners! We end up in a relationship that merely exists, instead of thrives! If you want to truly be happy! If you want to feel that immense love and desire for your partner that you felt in the beginning, I suggest you continue reading the TWO SETS of tips I give below:)
The following five suggestions are questions I often ask or say to my partner when I’m in a relationship…
1) How can I love you more?
I’ve said this for years that i love! I even ask my family members on a regular basis! This lets them know that I care about their well being and how important they are to me. I highly suggest you give this a whirl in your intimate relationships and watch how things begin to change!
2) How can I help you?
Look, if you know your partner is going through some “stuff”. Maybe it’s work related, maybe its with his or her health, ask them how you can help them get through it. This is an incredible way to bond with them and to show them that you have the desire to be there for them during this difficult time!
3) When can we have sex?!?
Ok I may get slammed for this but we all need intimacy in our lives or should I say MORE of it! I LOVE to lean over and whisper in my partners ear while we are out in public one of the following statements “I want you now!” I also like to say “may I — — when we get home”? You can fill in the blanks on that last sentence:) Keeping a good healthy FULL sex life is a big part of relationships that last! This is NOT something that should get weaker over time! In fact, this should become stronger!
4) Letting your partner know when something is not Ok with you.
I find that us women tend to not speak up when something is bothering us. Instead, we expect men to become mind readers! We expect them to guess at what we are upset about. I don’t do this and I recommend you don’t either! If something is making you feel undervalued, not cherished or not honored in a manner that you know is a necessity for you to make a relationship work…SPEAK UP! Nine times out of ten they will rectify the situation. If they don’t, let them know again and then follow up with the necessary measures that you feel are required. Maybe its leaving the relationship or maybe its simply letting them know “this will be my next step” if they don’t rectify the situation. Again, nine times out of ten this will rectify whatever is causing the pain.
5) How can I make your day easier?
I LOVE this one! My boyfriend often offers to ship my products out for me. He knows this is something I am not the best at. This always relieves so much stress from my day! I tend to thank him in a way he likes to receive later on that night!:) I also know that Sundays are not my mans favorite day because his Mondays are hectic. Creating a stress free environment and allowing him to vent on Sunday evening followed by some “private time” is a way I know I can serve his needs better.
You see, it doesn’t take much to make someone realize that they are a top priority in your life. That you love, cherish, honor, appreciate and respect them. In the end, you will find that being in a loving honest relationship with someone who “gets you” cares for you and is your biggest cheerleader or pom pom holding man-pan-ion:) FAR out weighs being alone or in an un happy loveless relationship!
Another way my boyfriend shows his love for me is when he creates beautiful AMBIANCE for us before dinner time! With the ocean waves crashing in the background it is truly magnificent! He lights candles all over the house, opens all the doors and windows and puts on the sexiest music! Last night he grilled Nopal cactus we found at a little store in coconut oil. Although I rarely eat cooked food I must say it was truly delectable! I made us salads with sun-dried tomatoes, nutritional yeast and homemade guacamole & salsa! I LOVE that he does this and feel incredibly cared for♡♡♡
- Can you guess which one is mine? Yes, I enjoy the big salads much more than him:)
Nopal cactus guacamole salad with sun-dried tomatoes!
Self-love and respect are so very important. Until we embody this completely we are living in someone else’s fantasy. I find it to be an impossible feat to think that one can have a relationship based upon who someone will become or who you thought someone was if they aren’t that way now. We should NEVER try to change anyone! That being said we must be aware of our value in this world and of what we offer when entering into a relationship. It must remain bigger than any illusion we create. This is why I know for a fact how incredibly important it is for self care! If we don’t love or even like ourselves, how do we expect another to truly love us, want to be with us or to even find us attractive?
The flowing are a few things I like to do to put myself first so that I am able to be a better partner in my relationship…
1) Daily prayer! For me, having one on one time with God is very important. I learned years ago that without the Lord front and center in my life, nothing is possible! Before i found the lord I felt as though something was missing. I now know that with God in my life, all things are possible!
2) Yoga as much as possible Lets face it, countless studies have shown the benefits of yoga! I find that when I go too long without my practice (three days or more) I begin to act in a way that is “not very yogi of me”:) Yoga calms me, relieves my stress but most importantly clears my mind as i focus on my breath moving in harmony with my body!
Getting my yoga and girlfriend time in all at once!
3) Daily workouts/Sweating everyday!
Ahhh! Daily workouts or “body movement” sessions is something I have employed for myself and my clients for over a decade! It is vitally important for our lymphatic system and our skin that is the largest organ of our body. It also makes us FEEL GOOD! When we feel good we look good and that is something our partner sees in us instantly! The self confidence boost is an added bonus of daily body movement!
4) Time with girlfriends or for men, time spent with their buddies:)
All of us women should have at least 2 or 3 GOOD girlfriends we can meet for a juice or hang out with. Lets face it, sometimes we just need to vent! Having the support of a good girlfriend who loves to listen without judgement is like biting into the most decadent piece of Belgian chocolate…it just tastes SO good!
The same goes for men! When men spend time with their buddies, they come home to us women as better men! They are able to tune in, listen more and focus better! I find that most men want to be more attentive after time spent out with friends.
5) Time spent alone in solitude
This is the one thing that most of us tend to ignore! Without time spent alone it is impossible to tune into your mate! When I was living in Ohio I spent seven years both single and celibate! Now that was a LOT of alone time! I will say that without that alone time i would not be where I am today! I make it a point to spend at least a few hours per day with no computer, no phone and no one around. This recharges my batteries to communicate with others and especially my partner!
6) Treating myself once a week to something “girly”! For the guys/ getting a massage or buying some type of gadget or treating themselves to a piece of clothing usually does the trick.
Ok, despite popular belief this does not need to cost a penny! Something as simple as an epsom salt bath with a bit of yang yang oil can be enough! I love to get my hair blown out or get my nails and feet pretty! When I don’t feel like spending extra cash I just soak in the pre mentioned “spa bath” in m own home. I treat myself daily by sipping my juice in the sunshine! This makes me feel so beautiful! By the time I’m done I am ready to give to my partner in more ways than one!
Men are a bit different! A trip to Lowes and well…they are good to go! Certain men like to treat themselves to a new shirt and some may even prefer a pedicure! Whatever it is, find out your partners favorite way to treat themselves and be sure to always encourage this weekly!
I spent the day yesterday sipping juice in the sun! We must alkalize our bodies daily!
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog! Feel free to share it via social media or with someone you love.
I only want the very best for you. Andrea L Cox
This is what a woman who is being TRULY cared for, honored and cherished looks like.