I know what you are asking yourself right now! Why is this detox diva/celebrity raw vegan chef doing writing an article about sex? Just give us another juice recipe for lords sake! If any of you think for a moment that sex is not part of a healthy lifestyle you are wrong! VERY WRONG! Sex is just as important as getting in your daily fruits and vegetables! In many cases it may be more important than you think!
A fulfilling sex life built on the principles below have been proven to make us both happier and healthier! I for one fully embrace the following principles and am sharing them with you in hopes that it may shake things up in the bedroom!
1) Foreplay does not begin in the bedroom!
Ahh, Foreplay! Kissing, touching, loving, sucking, giggling and all of that stuff I/we LOVE! All of that is GREAT but did you know foreplay begins with courting? Yes! Courting! Planning a date night out with your lady, picking up flowers, doing something she likes…making it a night about her! When you do this men the bedroom time becomes about YOU!
Despite popular belief this one isn’t only directed towards men! Ladies our men have feelings too! If you are bitching at them and nagging them about every little thing chances are your love making time may have a bit of “trouble” getting started that night:) The words that we use with one another along with the way we make our partner FEEL prior to our first step in the bedroom is what REAL foreplay is all about!
2) Learning to be alone so you will be ready when your partner “shows up”!
First of all let me clarify that when I say “showing up” I mean when you meet “the one” your “twin flame” your “soul mate”! You want to be ready..yes? In order to prepare yourself you must know what it feels like to be alone in EVERY capacity! When I was 18 years old I met a man who I spent ten years of my life with. After that relationship ended I spent seven years single and celibate! Those seven years were the most beautiful years of self discovery! I can say without a doubt that I would not be the woman I am today without that time! Spending time alone does not have to mean you aren’t dating. It just means you are a single woman or man who is not tossing himself/herself into anything serious or worthless! You are selective, you may even be celibate and you are spending a significant amount of time with friends, family and yourself!
3) Men need to be able to feel vulnerable and appreciated! Women must feel cherished and honored!
Despite popular belief, in order for a man to FULLY open up to you in any capacity he MUST be able to become vulnerable in your presence! Creating that safe place for your man to be vulnerable is critical in order for them to embrace their sexuality completely! This also allows him to feel more comfortable around you.
Appreciation is also a must, even with the little things he does. Recognize these things as little tokens of love he is giving to you. Reciprocate these tokens by letting him know you “see he is trying” and you appreciate it and him!
Now I could talk about us women for hours! We do require a lot and why in the hell did we not come wit a handbook? Dam it!
The truth is that all we really want is to feel like you honor and cherish us for the beautiful unique creatures we are! We desire to be courted. We desire to feel as if we are the only woman in the room when we are out with you. We desire to feel that you are so “into us” that you cannot keep from thinking of us throughout your day! Men, its your job in a relationship to SHOW US! Remember those little daily morning calls in the beginning? They need to keep going! Those flowers need to keep on coming and those foot rubs need to be weekly! Tell us we look beautiful! Make us feel just as you did when you were trying to get your hands on us in the beginning!
Look guys, When you stop doing the things you use to do, you stop getting the love you use to get! Enough said, that last line I just pulled out like a bunny out of a hat says it all!
4) Take great care of yourself so your confidence is boosted in the bedroom!
Ladies you don’t need to have a body like Elle McPherson and men you don’t need to look like Brad Pitt (I’m not into him anyway). What you do need to do is to eat healthy and move your body daily! No one will ever love you if you don’t care enough about yourself to make the proper sacrifices to care for your body!
5) Trust, loyalty and honesty have a LOT to do with your sex life!
Got Trust? Look folks if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 1000 times! If you don’t have trust you don’t have anything! Just ask a man who cheated on his wife after they decide to stay together and work things out! I guarantee you he wasn’t getting laid anytime soon! Do I sound a bit harsh here? Good! I hope you remember this the next time you decide to sleep with the pool boy ladies! Yes, this goes along with you too! Women what so many of us fail to realize is men have feelings too! They can get hurt just as badly if not worse then we do! Your loyalty and honesty with your man MUST be just as strong as his is with you! This is how the two of you will be connecting, building and flowing for the rest of your lives!
6) Self pleasuring!
I know, I know! It says something in the bible about this being a big “no no”! That being said I am a Christian woman! I’m also a Christian woman who self pleasures herself and would not have made it through the seven years of celibacy mentioned above without a little “roll in the hay” with myself!
7) This isn’t all about you!
Remember there are two of you in the bedroom! Before getting pleased offer to please your partner! I ALWAYS do this when in a relationship! I find that when my partner is pleased he is better able to relax and do his job:)
If you are reading this and know someone that can potentially benefit from this, please SHARE this! They will be thankful and so will I!:)
The Healthy Haven